jim says

I’m going to go on record right now, and state that this site will never feature “Explicit teen enema bondage” or “homonecropyrobeastiality”

10.20.00

weekly statement of purpose

Welcome to Chains of Misery.  This website is the one and only official source for all things Jim Ferdinand.  If you’ve just finished masturbating, and are feeling guilty for your actions, you’re in the right place. 

Oh I guess I have the misfortune of introducing you to my partner in this tutorial of how not to make a site that will somehow benefit humanity, Bryan Fury.

Some of you may know Bryan from his anal gangbang video series, still others may know his scarred visage from the great fighting game of  Tekken.  I only brought him on board because he was a zombie, cyborg, kickboxer.  That shit sounds fucking cool to the casual observer.  Though trust me, he’s the only zombie, cyborg, kickboxer who manages to break the proverbial sound barrier of faggotness on a daily basis.

chains of misery poll

Please take a moment to answer the weekly Chains of Misery poll.  In doing so, you’ll assit me in determining just where my fanbase lies.  That way I can cater this site to your needs.

weekly celebrity endorsement

Oops, she did it again.

Although she’s held this highest of honors off and on for the past couple years, I’d like to present Miss Britney Spears with the innagural “Boner of the Week” award for Chains of Misery.com.

Congratulations.

image of the week

boner of the week

“how bout i strap the crippler cross-face on ya?”

This wraps up the weekly frontpage.  Don’t be a stranger.  I promise next week’s frontpage will be even more kickass.

Shifting gears, just slightly, from Britney Spears and erections, we turn to the image of the week.  This time around it’s WWF superstar, Chris Benoit, showing us just  why he is the best damn technical wrestler in the business today.

*Chains of Misery.com is not liable for any retinal damage caused by direct eye contact with the featured image.